January 4, 2020
We had to make the very tough decision to put our family pet, Willow, to rest.
She was having a hard time with various medical issues and the prognosis wasn’t going to get better. Making the decision was a lot harder than I thought it would be. It’s sad.
She had been suffering probably a good while, having difficulty breathing, and her heart rate was always elevated. She had developed a cough, common for dogs her breed, when they start having heart problems. This cough would come out of nowhere. The vet said it indicated an enlarged heart.
She was the our family’s first and only pet. Sure, we had fish and dogs, but those aren’t the types of pets that come up to and cuddle in bed. Or put their head under your hand when they want some affection.
Willow was 12-13 years old, maybe a little young for her breed to be that aged. I don’t know. I think we did a good job caring for her altogether.
My wife called em at the office yesterday and asked if we could make the appointment. I selfishly asked if we could put it off a week. Then I thought of my reason for the request and it was really just about me. The dog was having a tough time getting up and down the stairs.
There were times when she would shake the water off her coat and fall over. What really clued me in that something might be seriously wrong was the time she was barking at the mail man and couldn’t move afterwards, then collapsed, whimpering. It scared her and it scared me.
This prompted several trips to the vet, some medications to try, and close monitoring. She wasn’t eating. Sometimes she would eat. She would need let outside at night frequently, more so than normal. The coughing. The fast breath and heart rate. She stopped barking as much. I felt really bad for her.
My children, 17, and 19, took the news pretty well. It’s hard to explain how that their will one day be no more time left with those you love. It’s a lesson we get to learn over and over as they leave us.
The last ride to the vet was hard. I teared up pretty much the whole way and wished that we didn’t have to do. Willow whimpered all the way there. Not all that unusual, but I think she knew something was different, I think.
I thought of what a good life she had, and how much she had meant to my wife and children, and to me. This was really hard. She was the first pet that I had to make the decision on.
We waited in the waiting room for a room to open, hoping that one wouldn’t come available. Wondering if this was the right thing to do. Wondering why I had to be the one to do it. So much death in this world sometimes and precious little joy. We were about to lose a piece of happiness.
We entered the room and I put her on the table and held her collar in one hand and pet her with the other. The vet let us have a few moments while she gathered the material. I reassured Willow petting her and telling her she was a good dog.
The vet came back in with the shot and told us that she’d fall asleep fast and pass soon after. The vet shaved her leg to make it easy to find a vein to put the shot in. The liquid was some kind of green-ish blue. Usually, I find myself interested in the mechanics of the procedure. Not this time.
I found myself wishing we weren’t there. That somehow we could turn back time to when we first brought her home. To see the young excited faces of a 5 and 7 year old with their first pet.
Willow sat down on her back legs. The shot went in. She laid down gently on her front legs and put her head down.
We stayed there for several minutes alone, petting her. Hopefully, she knew that we still loved her.
I don’t know why, but this was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.
Good bye Willow, may you rest in peace, and thank you for the joy you provided our family.
XOXO
-Just a Dude
#losingpetsistough #teddybeardog #ShihTzuBichon #RIP
Just a Dude 