ff

It’s amazing to me how going through life how many times the same lesson can be learned over and over.

Today, I’m heading up to a conference to network and meet people in an industry that is fairly new to me pitching a company and a product I’m trying to get off the ground. The product isn’t wholly finished, we haven’t made one dime from it yet, and it’s brand new brand new, very few competitors. I’m full of fear over it at 51 years old.

Starting anything new comes with a lot of uncertainty and a more than good chance of failure.

However, there are soooo many instances in my life where I’ve overcome whatever fear is in front of me, put one foot in front of the other, and just gone ahead and done it.

I had a paper route when I was 11 or 12 or something like that. I took it because I wanted my own money. I had to go to a street corner every day after school, pick up my bundles of papers, wrap them, then distribute them to people on the route. Once per month, I would have to go collect for the paper, punching a ticket for the customer on a set of manilla cards and sending in the monthly dues for the papers to the local newspaper. Whatever was left over was mine to keep. If I remember, it was about $50 a month or something like that. A princely sum of money for a 4th or 5th grader.

One of the things I hated about that jobs was going to collect. Bothering people and asking them for money was sometimes an imposition. Some people were friendly, others weren’t. I had to face a lot of fear sometimes because sometimes, the people were just a little weird.

Looking back, it’s pretty amazing they let kids do that but the 70’s and 80’s were a much different time ( I guess).

Again a few years later, I found myself at a new school without many friends. I decided to try out for the football team. After a lot of hard work, I ended up being a starting lineman for a couple years of undefeated teams. We ran people over. Destroyed them. I had to overcome a lot of fear, doubts from others, and just go through the motions to get to the goal. And work hard.

College at Arizona State was another exercise in overcoming fear. After two years of community college in Tucson, Az, I needed a change. Two of my uncles went to Arizona State and it was always on my target, so up to Tempe, Az I moved, with my girlfriend (now my wife of 25 years). Going to classes at ASU was intimidating. 400 person classes where I actually got dressed down for challenging an exam question. Didn’t know a soul at ASU at all. Big campus, lots of people (and sun). Somehow, I went to classes where I wasn’t comfortable, got my grades and my degree. I didn’t second guess myself, I just did the work that was in front of me and got through it.

Yet, here we are again.

Maybe it’s because the stakes are higher, or the older I get there’s more inertia to get moving, not sure. But the doubts always creep in. “Imposter Syndrome”, they call it. The idea that you aren’t really exactly where you are supposed to be.

Not sure, but is annoying as hell.

Which brings me to the title of the post, “ff”. That stands for “Fuck Fear”.

The idea is that “Fear” really has no place in my mind or impact on my actions. It’s not helpful and doesn’t add any value. Some of my favorite acronyms for “FEAR” are:

“Fuck Everything And Run”

and

“False Evidence Appearing Real”

I learned those from a good friend of mine, Jim (thanks Jim).

So standing again at this crossroads, my only job is to do the work in front of me and see what happens. That’s what my past has taught me, and I see no reason that I shouldn’t have the faith to see it through.

Wish me luck, I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and see what happens!!